Have you ever asked anyone a question hoping they would turn around and ask you the same thing?
I do that all the time. I'm eager to share myself with others and, sadly, don't get to do that enough. So I'll subtly encourage people to ask me questions by putting ideas in their head and hoping natural politeness will lead them to reciprocate my inquiries.
I was greatly pleased and deeply flattered that several of you responded to my last post by asking me to answer the questions I posed to you. That's so nice of you! I love, love, love to explain myself because, in the process, I discover new insights about who I am.
So, here goes...
1. What is your favorite item of clothing?
Without question, my black suede boots. ("You can do anything but stay off-a my black suede boots...") The boots fit well (which is rare for me), they lengthen and flatter my legs, and they have quarter-sized shiny buttons on the top of the sides that are cuter than kittens!
2. What do you do to get ready for a big date? How long does it take you?
As with most things, I have two answers, depending on whether we're discussing my real-life or my dream-life. In real-life, I shower, shave and dress in 20 minutes. In my dream-life... oh! I spend all day!
I start in the morning by taking a long bubble-bath, leisurely shaving every inch of my body. Then I put my hair up in rollers. I want to add bounce for when I later fling my hair around. (That's a super-flirty move!) Then I do my nails and try out a bright new color. I review my closet and starting putting together ideas for an outfit. Then it's time for a break, so I make some green tea and sit down with a chocolate bar to watch a romantic movie on DVD. It's important to get in the right mood. Something like "The Notebook" will do that for me.
Later, I take out the rollers and admire the curls they made. I'll fix my hair and put on some makeup. I'll go to the closet and pull up my Spanx, then try on some clothes. I'll change my mind and put on something else; then change my mind again, and keep repeating this cycle until my arms get tired...
Finally, I'm dressed and groomed. I'll walk through a cloud of perfume, grab my bag and wait for the doorbell to ring!
3. Do you know how to dance? Are you any good?
I don't really know how to dance but I enjoy moving to music. It's an aspiration of mine to take dance-lessons. I'm naturally athletic so acquiring the skill wouldn't be too hard. The only thing holding me back is my shyness. I'm always reluctant to be the center of attention.
4. What's your favorite TV show?
It's over now but it was "Six Feet Under." The show explored real philosophical questions about why we exist, what the meaning of life is, and how complicated and difficult human-interaction often becomes. Plus it was extremely well-written and exceptionally entertaining. Of current shows, I'm a "Mad Men" fan.
5. What do you want to achieve in your life?
That has changed over time. When I was a child, my goal was to please my parents. When I was a little older, my goal was to create a convincing male-persona. When I was a young adult, my goals were to succeed in school and then achieve in my career as a lawyer.
Now, having accomplished all of those things, my goal is to be myself -- find ways to be and express who I really am and have been since birth. I want to release, nurture and display the essential parts of me that were suppressed for many decades. I want to live a genuine life before I die.
6. Who are the most important people to you?
Robin, whom I've lived with for 10 years; Maura, who I lived with for 20 years; my closest girlfriends, who know who they are; and everyone willing to relate to me now in a supportive, honest way.
7. Does anyone inspire you?
Sure. People who face and overcome adversity through the exercise of will. I feel like my whole life has been a tough struggle, so I admire those who handled similar challenges with strength and courage.
8. Do you have any deep, dark secrets? Can you talk to anyone about them? Do you have a BFF?
Perhaps it's not so secret any more. :) I could use more close-friends to share with. The emotional support and nurturance a BFF can give would help me sort some things out as I travel down my path.
9. Have you ever been to prison? Are you allowed to leave the state?
No and yes.
I used to ask this question to women when dating because it always got a laugh. Then, one day, a woman responded with a serious look on her face and said, yes, she had been to prison and it was for something awful. I was shocked. She looked totally normal and yet she'd lived an incredibly hard life. So, now I don't assume I know about other people's lives and let them tell me instead.
10. If you could magically change something about yourself, what would it be?
Hmm... can you guess? :)